Little Things and The Big Debt

There has been some developments since my last post.  I started getting that writing resume out, just like I said I would.  Unfortunately, I haven't found anything that has been a good fit yet.  I actually got offered a job, but the writing would have cost me so many hours in research that I would have been making less than minimum wage.  I'll keep looking, but it's slow going.  Thinking ahead, I'd like to write some articles for family magazines, maybe work on that novel.  Slow, but rewarding, work.
What I have come to realize, is that I can do a lot more to help our budget from home than away from home.  Already, I know with a freelance income, I'm going to lose around 40% to taxes.  It might be even more than that because of the tax bracket we are in.  So, while I'm not giving up the writing, I'm not giving it the same amount of time that I was a few weeks ago. 
So, here we come to my next venture.  I have been working to reduce the household budget.  All those changes that look like little things really add up.  Here's a few examples:

Finally getting the twins out of nighttime disposable diapers: $135.41/year ($0.186 each diaper)

Dropping Netflix and using Redbox and Library Movies: about $240/year (Netflix $25.93/mo)

Making bread at home: about $174.72/year (2 loaves at Sams/wk = $3.86; 2 homemade loaves/wk = about $0.50)

Making homemade cleaners: at least $116/year ($10.47/mo vs. $0.75/mo)  That's a fairly conservative guess at how much I spend in cleaners monthly, so I'm sure the savings will be higher. 

Just those few things give me $666.13 each year to tackle my debts.   That still leaves a lot of work for me. 

Worth Every Saved Penny!

Here's some of the other things I've done to drop our expenses:
1.  Make a budget.  Know what my limits are and discover how creative I can be.
2.  Get the kids to hang up the towels and only wash them once a week.
3.  Pajamas get worn 2-3 times before washing.
4.  Turn down the thermostat to 62 degrees during the day and 68 degrees at night.  Lots of cuddling going on around here!
5.  Research vegetarian meals and work towards 3 vegetarian suppers each week.
6.  Starting a ebay or half account to resell homeschool books.  Must get more books somehow!
7.  Selling baby gear at the Second Hand Kids store.
8.  Stockpiling.  I'm big into couponing now.  I use http://www.couponmom.com/ and http://www.moneysavingmom.com/.  I'm getting lots of free and super cheap deals using coupons, coupon clipping services and free/cheap deal alerts.
9.  Switching to ink cartridge refills. 
10.  Try to get showers (for Mom) at the gym (which also means I have to go 5-6 days/week.  See how I'm tricking myself into being good!).  I'm paying them well enough that I'm pretty sure they can take the hit to their water bill!
11.  Switching to digital scrapbooking once my paper pile/supplies are exhausted.  Not the easiest change for me, but I know I'll save on paper, glue, photo printing, etc.  I can get a 12x12 printed for $1.99 and it's great quality printing.  There's lots of digital freebies for the takers.
12.  Set a food budget ceiling of $500 for our family of 7.  I'm hoping to drop it lower than that.  Yes, we still eat fresh fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. in abundance! 

We're writing off this sugar as a purely educational expense!

Things we cut out of our budget:
1.  Store oatmeal packets
2.  Fruit Snacks (Not REALLY food people!  LOL)
3.  Bacon  (sniffle, sniffle)
4.  Meat over $1.68/lb.
5.  Store pizza
6.  Store bread
7.  Store granola bars
8.  Drawing paper (Backs of computer paper mis-prints and the backs of junk mail work great for coloring!)
9.  Cereal over $1.50/box.  I've been finding ways to get it at $1/box with coupons. 

Things I'm learning how to make or am already making:
1.  cloth diaper liners
2.  re-usable Swiffer pads (I'm not giving up my Swiffer.  You'll have to pry it from my dead broke hands.)
3.  Floor cleaner that I can put into a spray bottle to mimic my $$$ Swiffer cleaner.  (Sad, I know.)
4.  Fruits and Veggies from my own backyard.
5.  Water for my garden with rain collection and bath water repurposing.
6.  Bread, granola bars, healthy pizza pockets, healthy pop tarts, homemade oatmeal packets, etc.
7.  Anything that we can wash to reuse: table napkins, baby wipes, hankies, etc.

That's just a few of the things we are trying out.  I hope it inspires you in your homemaking budget.  I hope to get some of those budget friendly/health friendly recipes posted for you soon.  I'm off to the gym for an awesome workout and a long, hot shower.

2011 Goals

I have to say, I'm not a big fan of resolutions.  It just seems like a lazy way to put off something that you should be doing already.  Okay, maybe that's a little harsh, but I think it stings with a little truth, too.  Let's think about it.  What are the top resolutions that people make?  Lose the weight, stop smoking and get organized.  All things that we should have been working towards on December 31, 2010, right? 
Instead, I choose to make different goals for the year.  I'm already going to the gym and cutting calories here and there.  I'm always thinking of ways to be more organized with my crazy life.  Don't smoke and never will.  So, I think I've got those covered.  No, I want to create tangible goals that I know will push me.  Things that fall under my radar with the busy-ness of life.  Here it is folks:

1.  Resume my professional writing career (translation: get paid to write).  Some ways I can work toward that goal are: blog regularly (lucky you!), submit writing and resumes for freelance gigs, set aside regular writing time in my week, research writing opportunities.

2.  Pay down (at least) $10K in debt.  It takes a little guts to put that out there on a blog, but it's truthful.  Due to the down economy and stagnant home values, we are still struggling with a school debt, car payments, etc.  Are we paying our bills every month?  Yes, absolutely.  However, we aren't making the progress we'd like to make towards becoming debt-free.  So, I'm trying to return to professional writing (see above), I'm making a lot of new from-scratch items, we're turning down the thermostat during the day and researching ways to cut more out of our monthly expenses. 

3.  Have a great homeschool year.  That means, we need our 3rd grader to be prepared for her standardized testing in April, we need to get through those Saxon Math programs, we need to transition the twins into a regular, challenging phonics program and I want to make sure we're fitting in our music, art, typing, Spanish and geography. 

4.  Increase my faith in Jesus Christ.  For me, that means a variety of things.  I need to regularly do some of the things I haven't been so great about.  I need to be better about fasting.  It has been a long time since I've been pregnant or nursing.  It's time to get back to the fasting habit.  I need to hold regular Family Home Evening.  I want to get my Sunday School lessons read and studied ahead of time.  Most importantly, I want to incorporate more service opportunities into my family's daily life.  I had an experience in December that taught me very clearly that I could read the scriptures and pray all I wanted to, but, if I really wanted to know the Savior, I would need to do the things He would do. 

5.  Finally, I need to work on refining my character.  I need to put aside anger/frustration/irritation and put on kindness.  I need to smile and be grateful.  I need to stop complaining.  Life is so very good. 

Okay, so that sound of resolution-ish.  That's okay.  I'm happy with where I've been and where I'm headed.  I think it's going to be a great year.

Multiples and Marriage

Hello, Magnolia Readers.

Over the years, I've received a lot of questions about how to manage multiples and marriage.  My twins are a mere three years old, so I don't claim to be an expert.  All I can do is share my own experience and hope that it will help some of you who are in the thick of it with multiples of your own or lots of little ones to care for.

When my husband and I found out that we were expecting twins, we were ecstatic. Our years of infertility were suddenly behind us and we were going to have the precious babies we had always dreamed of. After those first feelings of excitement and anticipation cooled, we began to be a little worried about how to handle our two precious babies. We had already adopted two wonderful children, who were 5 and 6 at the time. We had also had several years of experience as foster parents, caring for up to five children at a time. We knew how to handle a big brood. This would be different, though. We couldn’t anticipate a date they would be returned to their own families. We couldn’t contact the agency if they weren’t a good fit for our home. We couldn’t even call a respite provider for a few days off. We were in it for the long haul.

Our first surprise came about half way through the pregnancy, when I was admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor. We were told that we would give birth to our babies within the next 48 hours and that they would be too small, too weak to benefit from life saving measures. Our sweet babies were going to die. For both my husband and I, it was the worst 2 days of our lives. Against all odds, those 48 hours passed and our babies were still safe within me. Days passed, then weeks while I waited for their arrival in the ante-natal unit of the hospital. I spent 5 weeks on full bedrest in the hospital, 5 weeks on full bedrest at home and then one final week in the hospital before delivering my babies at 34 weeks along.

While physical intimacy was not allowed during this time, my husband and I grew closer as we passed through this difficult period of our lives. My husband took care of the children at home, but found ways to be at the hospital taking care of me, as well. One of my favorite memories is of some of those first few days in the hospital. I was finally allowed to take a shower but had to be very careful to limit my movement. My husband washed my hair, cleaned me, dressed me and then gently combed my hair for me. I knew, then, that he would take care of me, no matter what came our way in life. It was one of the most emotionally intimate experiences of our marriage.

After 11 weeks of bedrest, my husband and I were caring for 2 small babies in the neonatal intensive care unit. Our baby boy spent 5 weeks in the NICU and our little girl was there for 8 weeks, before we brought her home with a feeding tube. Those first few months were a blur. Our babies needed to eat every 2 hours and I was pumping breast milk for them both. That gave me about 45 minutes to sleep in between feedings. My husband had started a new job and needed to be 100% each day to keep the job that we all depended on so much, so I was on my own at nights with the feedings and changes. It certainly wasn’t the ideal situation. I would have loved to have had more help from my husband during those first months, but I understood that this was a sacrifice I’d have to make to ensure that my husband could stay employed and that I could continue to be a stay-at-home mom. I had my moments, though. There were times that the overwhelming fatigue would become too much. I would lash out at my husband with brewing resentments over how little he was able to help with the twins. I would sob over my husband’s need for intimacy on days when I was too tired to get a shower or do anything else but care for our twins. Usually, what I needed most, was simply the opportunity to vent my feelings about the day. Once I did so, I found that I had enough courage to make it through the next day.

Then, about 4 months after our twins came home, our lives began to get easier. The twins went longer between feedings. I was able to get a few more showers and I was able to get out in public. My figure began to return and, with it, my self-confidence and my physical relationship with my husband. Conversations no longer revolved around how much each baby ate and what the pediatrician said at the last appointment. We began to reconnect with the world around us and each other.

Looking back at that time, I can appreciate that it was only a short season in my life. There are times when our childrens’ needs trump those of our spouses and we need to accept that our relationship with our spouses will not be what it was in other, less demanding times of our lives. The important thing is, as your children grow older, to use each minute that you get back in your day to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and find ways to take care of yourself, as well. Go back to doing those things that made your marriage great to begin with. Go out on a weekly, or even, monthly date. Compliment your spouse. Flirt with them. Get out of the sweatpants and make yourself attractive for your spouse and yourself. Take time to talk and visit.

As our children have grown older and their physical needs have decreased, we’ve found more ways, as a couple, to spend time together. An early bedtime for the kids is a must. Set a regular bedtime between 7 and 8 p.m. each night, so your children know what to expect. After they’re finally down for the night, spend a few minutes doing whatever you need to do to be ready for the next day, but save the heavy cleaning and chores for later. Take an hour or two to spend time with your spouse. Watch a movie or television shows you have DVR’d. Order some pizza or Chinese food for a late night dinner. Play a game together. Take a bath together. Take some time to be intimate.

With our oldest child being only 10 years old, we have a couple more years before we have a built in babysitter. We have great babysitters that we’ve met through our church. However, we can easily spend more on babysitting than we do on our date with the rates we pay for our large family. With babysitting costs being what they are, we’ve found that swapping babysitting with another family can help us get out more frequently. Though we live far away from our parents, we found that they are always willing to babysit for us when they come into town. Also, we can take advantage of babysitting centers at the gym and recreation center when we go out for a more active date.

We’ve found that, as we deliberately invest time into our marriage, we are not only getting back the loving relationship we began with, we are getting back a better relationship. This relationship has been through hardships, inevitable ups and downs and has come out better and stronger than it was before. We have developed a deeper respect for each other and have come to realize that, as we put our marriage first, our children feel more loved and secure. I am so grateful to be married to my best friend.  I'm grateful that I can call him that after 13 years of marriage.  It is only through sustained, thoughtful effort that I've been able to do so.  It is with the help of my Heavenly Father and a lot of prayer.  I married a wonderful man.  He has been worth every bit of the effort.

Whole Hearted Homeschooling

I've been gone for a long time, I know.  I'm sorry that I've left you waiting. 

We've had big changes around the Magnolia household.  Just last week, we brought our oldest child home from charter school...for good.  Why the change of heart?  Was the education sub par?  No, it was perfectly fine.  In fact, for all their talk of advanced curriculum, Spuds did just fine.  He didn't even blink at the "advanced" curriculum.  Was it behavioral issues?  Again, no.  There was no throwing chairs across the room, cuss words flying, early dating behaviors or bullying going on.  That is certainly part of what turned us off from our local public school.  This charter school was very good at producing good behavior from its students.  It was a variety of less obvious issues that helped us decide that it was time to bring Spuds home.

1.  We were driving 2 hours each day to transport Spuds to and from school.  It wasn't that the school was that far away, but, with the addition of morning traffic and the traffic created by a school of 1300 children and no buses, it was a long drive.  Both Hubby and I were absolutely exhausted.  It was taking it's toll on the younger Magnolia clan, as well.  Grumpy, grumpy, grumpy. 

2.  The charter school was costing us big bucks!  We paid for Spuds' uniform, which could only come from certain dealers.  It wasn't outrageous cost-wise, but it wasn't Target.  We were paying extra in packaged foods for lunch.  We made a lot of things from scratch, but we couldn't do it all.  We were paying over $60 each month in gas, too.  To make matters worse, the school had a premium on all of its enrichment activities.  Twice a week Spanish was $320 for the school year.  To have the opportunity to play in the sports program, it was $130, plus the individual team costs.  To play in the school orchestra or band, there was a monthly rental cost.  That wasn't a huge problem for us, other than the fact that the music teacher selected Spuds instrument for us.  What was their decision, after 2 weeks of observing our son?  Trumpet.  ...No, seriously.  Trumpet.  They obviously didn't take into account the fact that we have 5 children producing a healthy share of noise in our home already.  (It will be recorder and basic piano at home.  Hopefully, I can teach Spuds and PeeWee violin and viola next year.)

3.  We were SICK!  Not just a little sniffle or minor stomach bug.  Six out of the seven of us were sick on our butts for the majority of the 3 weeks in school.  Bebe got croup 3 times.  It was a minor case each time, but it wouldn't be long before we'd end up in the hospital with her again.  Her Autumn bouts of croup are always more managable than the mid-Winter ones.  Booboo ended up with head to toe hives from a virus and still, a week later, has a lingering cough-cold.  Both croup and these agressive hives are capable of being life-threatening to our children.  Bebe, Schmoocas and PeeWee were all preemies.  Booboo and Spuds were early babies, too.  They just don't have the immune systems that other children do.  I know that exposure to germs strengthens the immune system of the average child, but Hubby and I are confident that it will take a few more years before our children are even capable of building a stronger immune system. 

From our brief time back in the public/charter school system, we discovered that we weren't really missing that much.  I think that was what my Heavenly Father wanted me to know.  I think that is why I was allowed to go forward and place Spuds in school.  It wasn't about him.  It was about me and getting this notion out of my own head that we were missing something.  I allowed myself to be influenced by my own doubts and fears.  I allowed myself to listen to the doubts and fears of others, especially in our own extended family.  What I came to realize was that I needed to stick to what I knew to be true.  Our Heavenly Father wanted us to be a homeschooling family.  I have received that confirmation over and over again through the years.  Can I homeschool five children on my own?  No way.  I can absolutely, 100% homeschool my children with the help of my Father in Heaven, with the support of my homeschool friends (both online and in my daily life) and with the support of my wonderful husband, who loves homeschooling almost as much as I do.

So, after a lot of prayer and thought, we brought Spuds home.  He understood our reasons and was fine with the change.  He misses his friends at school, but is adapting quickly to our homeschool day.  We are still dealing with the lingering illness and exhaustion from our time with the charter school, but I'm confident that we'll be back up to speed by next week. 

The obvious question is, "Are we ever going to return to public or charter school?"  Since I can't see all that is ahead of us in the next 16 years, I can't say for sure.  However, I will say that we're planning on homeschooling until our kids graduate from high school.  Neither Hubby or I want to send our children to middle school or high school and we can't imagine sending our younger kids to school and keeping the older kids home.  I think it would be a real detriment to family unity.  Besides, we love homeschooling!  Our kids love homeschooling!  We are so happy to be together again, learning, playing and working together again. 

Fitting It All In.

This school year, I have the unusual challenge of having one child in charter school.  This school is unique, in that, it does not provide transportation.  So, my husband drives my oldest child to school in the mornings.  I make the hour round trip to pick him up in the afternoons.  With that addition to our schedule, this is how a day in our home looks.

5:30 am Time to exercise, shower, pray, check email, fold a basket of laundry, do a load of dishes, etc.
6:30 am Breakfast and Spuds Dresses for School
7:00 am Family Devotional (We read a page or two of scripture and commentary from Discover the Scriptures: Old Testament and we have prayer.)
7:15 am Spuds and Hubby leave for school and work
7:25 am Finish the Morning Routine (PeeWee and I bathe the 3 toddlers, get them dressed and changed.  We clean up the table, start the dishes and a load of laundry.)
8:15 am Finish devotional.  Do pledge of allegiance, sing a primary song, do copywork or questions from Discover the Scriptures, recite an article of faith, recite memory poetry.
8:30 am  Saxon Math 3 for PeeWee; Little ones play.
9:15 am Table work for PeeWee: Explore the Code, First Language Lessons, A Reason for Writing (handwriting), Building Spelling Skills; Any work not finished during this time is finished in the afternoon.
9:45 am Pack up for outdoor time.
10:00 am Outdoor Time or Indoor Recreation Time (if the weather is bad). 
11:00 am Booboo goes down for nap; PeeWee and I read our Time Travelers: Explorers Lesson and go over the projects.  We also read in Boxcar Children.  We take turns reading alternate pages.  We use the literature study guide for Boxcar Children from Veritas Press.  We use the questions for oral narration at this point, but will be working up to written responses over the next few weeks.
11:45 am PeeWee works on literature and history projects.  Preschool Time. 
12:30 pm Mom cleans and preps lunch.  Bebe and Schmoocas watch an educational preschool video.
1:00 pm Lunch and clean up.
1:30 pm Subject of the Day: M-Spanish, Tu-Music, W-Computers, Th-Geography, F-Art.
2:30 pm PeeWee works on table work assignments.
3:00 pm Leave to pick up Spuds from charter school.
4:00 pm Snack time.
4:15 pm Homework time for Spuds and PeeWee finishes work or reads (if necessary).
5:00 pm Family Cleaning Time
5:30 pm Outdoor Play Time for oldest 2 kids.  Table play for the toddlers.  Mom preps supper.
6:30 pm Supper, clean-up and make lunches for tomorrow.
7:00 pm Older kids take showers.  Get younger kids changed and dressed in pajamas.
7:30 pm Stories, scripture readers, brush teeth and family prayer.
8:00 pm Kids' Bedtime and Mom/Dad Time
9:30 pm Our Bedtime (if we can wait that long).

We adapt this schedule on a few days, as follows:
Tuesday-5:15 pm Soccer
Wednesday-7:00 pm Family Home Evening
Thursday-Homeschool Field Trip Day.  We drop most of the table work and focus on Math, Reading, Spelling, Writing and Geography for our short day.  6:30 pm Scouts

We were exhausted at the end of this week, but this schedule allowed us to get so much done!  It's definitely worth the early start.

My North Carolina

Here it is, folks!  The very best BBQ around.  Not an smudge of red BBQ sauce to be found.  This is pure vinegar, North Carolina BBQ!  Mmmmm.  I love this place.  It doesn't look like much from the outside, but then the best places never do.  This is down-home goodness to a T.  I've been going to Flips, in Wilmington, NC, since my honeymoon in 1997.  My husband's family has been going for decades.  So, a stop here was an absolutely must. 

This was my big kids' first trip to Flips!  Hard to believe, but it's true.  So, how'd they like it?  See for yourself...

 

Don't forget to add a side of hush puppies and an order of banana pudding.  If I ever had to pick a last meal, this would be it.

My wonderful mother-in-law invited us to stay in her Wrightsville Beach house (just outside of Wilmington, NC) for the week before Fourth of July.  Hubby and I had taken a few trips to North Carolina since we became parents, but never had we visited as a family during the Summer.  Spuds and PeeWee went to Mexico with us when they were 3 and 4 and got in a little beach time, but the youngest 3 had never seen a beach.  As you can imagine, they loved it!  Here's the line-up.

Boo-boo only got a mouthful or two of sand. 

Spuds and PeeWee practiced body boarding and built their sand castles.

 

Can you see those model genes in Bebe?  She takes more good photos than any other kid in the family.

Schmoocas is my collector.  His favorites are rocks and, obviously, seashells.

Here's the whole family, plus one.  Miss S,, in the pink suit, is Hubby's youngest first cousin.  She helped with the little ones on the sand. 

Here's my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law and Hubby.  They always look like a JCrew ad.  Too beautiful!  Did I tell you that my mother-in-law was a model?  Great bone structure, huh?

Can't wait for our next NC trips.  More later...

Here's my babies!

I know you're dying to catch a peek at my little ones.  At my husband's request, we're not using our real names on the blog.  Instead, I'll substitute our nicknames.  Some names are from Grandpa.  Some of the nicknames are from us.  Spuds is my 9 y.o. son.  PeeWee is my 8 y.o. daughter.  Yep, they're bio siblings.  We adopted them from Denver foster care.  Aren't they beautiful?!  Schmoocas is my 3 y.o. son.  Bebe is my 3 y.o. daughter.  Booboo is my 1 y.o. son.  He chose to stay in my arms, rather than ride on the hayride.  Go figure. 

This photo is from our Primary's Pioneer Day celebration.  There was all sorts of pioneer games, crafts and yummy foods.  There was also a fantastic rope pull.  Too much fun.

More to come...